Rebecca Quinn











{February 16, 2011}   If stress were measured in cash……

Between today and tomorrow I’d be rich.

So, there is a new client coming in to see if they want to work with Virtual Agent Services [VAS]. See, the company I work for, Kimpton, works with VAS. So I’m employed with VAS to work for Kimpton. It makes sense. Shut up, it does.

So now, VAS is trying to get American Express on board. And our “Pod” (That’s redneck for office) has been chosen to be the Showcase Pod. So that means we get awesome new upgrades and cool junk. And…. TWO-FACED LIES!

We are no longer allowed any paper on the desks. No coats at our stations, no personal items. now, I understand the logic behind these requests. I do! They don’t want employee’s stealing credit card numbers. HA! I bet some of you were thinking “Go green! Go green!” No.

So, what’s so two-faced about that? Well, If American Express wasn’t coming in, and after they leave, this rule will be fly out the window.

We got new security badges with our pictures and names on them. Well NEED to have them tomorrow. After that? Who cares?

They’ve had contractors and decorators in all frackin’ month, working on the place.

I thought about this when I was in the shower a while ago:

VAS is a stinky, smelly constipated guy. He’s sitting on the toilet, sweating, cursing, trying to squeeze a shit out. American Express is a laxative that works too slow. VAS takes it, jumps up, cleans itself up and goes to work. But… the problem isn’t taken care of. VAS just covered up the smell with Old Spice. And I have a feeling, when VAS is doing their presentations tomorrow, the American Express laxative is going to start to work, and we’re going to end up shitting ourselves.

God I love how my brain works.

 


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